Wednesday, December 7, 2011

12 (Wrong) Ways to Make Potatoes

There are 12 wrong ways to make mashed potatoes.

1.  Forget to boil the potatoes.  Stare intensely at them in the mixer until you can figure out why they are not "mashing."

2. Boil them in a soup maker. It boils water in 90 seconds, so it should boil potatoes rapidly, right? Wrong.

3. Put the milk, butter, etc into the mixer before you put the potatoes in (wait for it...)

4. Dump the potatoes into the mess and plug in the mixer without checking to see if it is "off" first. Yes, potatoes can launch like rockets in case you were wondering.

5. Add more butter. The potatoes look fantastic at this point, more smashed and wounded than mashed. Butter will help right? No.....

6. Add flour to even the consistency. With a little baking soda, I bet I could have had some tasty potato biscuits.


Okay, so those are only 6 wrong ways to make mashed potatoes. It felt like 12 wrong ways. And it was a sign for me.  Sometimes I think I know what I am doing (see, POTATOES!) and jump right into a disaster waiting to happen. The psychological allure of boarding the Titanic. Or watching a thriller.

These are learning experiences.  These can be signs to others, should I share them.

Sometimes I know I don't know what I am doing. But the confidence of knowing that I don't know makes up for it.  A strange certainty in the unknown possibilities if you may.

Sometimes I don't know when to quit. Like step one. Or step four even.  Perseverance is admiral though, right?  Either way, thank God for family who ate my nonmashed potatoes with a smile.

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