Monday, November 28, 2011

Sign of Self:those people

Every now and then, a great personal insight comes along that can really change your life. They are signs of self. 

This is a those people post.  Everyone know that they belong to a "those people" category.  Some of them are humorous, like "those crazy hat people," others not so much, like "those casserole bringing people."  So what kind of "those people" am I?

Today I was talking out loud to figure out a problem when I realized I am a Contingency Plan person.  I hide it in the guise of over-preparedness, and can-do spirit, but when it boils down to it, I focus on the fall back plan.  Even though I phrase my situations optimisitcally, stating "If this fails" not "when," I still have a back up plan. It is how I make situations that are absolutely horrible reasonable in my mind. Because there is a back up.

I am a living worst case scenario game!!

Whenever I hear the words contingency plan, I always think of death. And that is not what I want associated with me.  How morbid!  And to think, my security blanket of plans could even be the thing that sets me up attacks by Murphy's Law, because some of my contingency plans are better than the ones I am living. Why do I do that?!

I attest I can continue being a Contingency Plan person, but only if I can adjust my outlook: Don't have something greater than what you are doing be a contingency plan- don't wait for failure, just do it!  I don't want to be any other kind of Contingency Plan person, just like I don't want to be anybody's contingency plan.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Signs that Would Be Helpful if Applied to Real Life (2)

People seem to have this notion that geography is the key factor in change.  While this helps, I disagree.  Although, my longest running life goal consists of different geographic placement, this is not my key factor to change.  How spectacular would it be if we saw signs like this everyday?  In every moment when we question ourselves, in our searching for what we think we need?

Change is internal.  Change we breath in everyday.  The earth changes, seasons change.  And this time of year happens to be my favorite season of change.  Not because of the exchanging of gifts, or the dining on succulent food.  This is a season of change.

Late November, early December, is the time of year for shopping for new calendars.  It's the moment we make year-long commitments to pocket books, desk calendars, and wall calendars.  We look through thousands of pictures of puppies, and flowers, and optimistic sayings to find that right calendar. 

This is moment we realize that our coming year teems with endless possibilities.  Who knows what we will have scribbled on January 5th?  Or what kind of plans we will circle in red on Valentine's Day?  Anything is possible.

And just like committing to a calendar and feeling the energy of endless possibilities, we have to realize we can see this around us everyday.  Everyday is a destination waiting for us to declare, "I have arrived!"  The change we wish to garner through packed bags and new homes begins with each breath everyday, where we are right now. I wish we could see this sign every day.  To know this is where everything can (and will) change if we let it, if we let ourselves.  This is the place to turn your life around.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Signs to learn from Mo, part II

I just wanted to get a picture of my fish all flared up, the way betta fish do when they are defensive of their territory. (And yes, it makes me giggle to think of a tiny fish being territorial. What's the worst he's going to do-blow bubbles?)

Mid-snapshot, a message flowed through the water to my mind. And Mo looked at me knowingly.

Get out of your own way, the message said. Here was my fish, flaring to defend his home from some terrible unknown enemy, when really it was only himself. He had archers ready, sharks on-call, and a willingness to fight to the last breath-if need be- all against himself.

And it would be so easy to just laugh lightly at him, and say silly fish. He is just a silly red fish. I am a smart human. I see what you are doing and laugh because I would never do such a thing. I am human. I have thumbs. Plus I feed you.

And yet, how often have we over thought something, second guessed an answer, or logically skewed a point of view to better fit ourselves? All the time. He's not calling me not because he is busy, but because you are loud and odd and ought to tone it down. I'm pretty sure it's A, but then again I have been facing some rotten luck -entirely my fault I'm sure- so I'm going to guess B. I need this job because it is critical to my formation of character, despite the fact that the travel expense for this job almost costs me the entirety of my paycheck, and compromises my health.

All these words, everything, all for the sake of fighting myself to death, because either way I am right, right?

When really either way, I am exhausting myself and my resources. Either way, I lose. Anyway, I think it is time to get out of my own way. And time to feed my fish.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

You'll Be Bright

All the things you love
All the things that may hurt you,
All the things you shouldn't do,
And all the things you want.

They're calling your name.

And you'll be bright.

a small sign for me today. and for you too.

(Lyrics by The Cloud Cult)

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Penguin Song

I witnessed an amazing sight today. While at work, I took a minute to watch the king penguins. All 11 were stationed loosely around the penguin exhibit. Then suddenly, one raised his head and sang a little tune. After he stopped, another took up the verse. One by one, the king penguins took turns throwing their heads back in song. This went on for about five minutes.

In watching this sign, I discovered a profound sense of unity and belonging. They are not the most social birds. They don't put on fancy displays with feathers or flying, kind of like us. But even after one gave up on his song, there was another penguin to add to it, and continue until the song found its way back to him.

Please know we are all interconnected. The actions we define ourselves with will send out songs. Someone on the other side of the world is listening in their heart, nodding in approval, waiting to join in.  Worldwide, we belong.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

From this Angle
I saw a really neat sign last night. I was watching one of my new favorite shows, My Extreme Animal Phobia. One of the clients the therapist was helping was deathly afraid of butterflies. Through exposure therapy, the woman eventually was surrounded by 200 butterflies, and was perfectly okay with it. When one landed on her shoulder, she said, "From this angle, they are kind of beautiful."

I have a friend that I am feuding with. I am not sure they know that we are feuding, but we are. I did not appreciate an analogy they used towards me, regarding me. And I do not approve of the lack of compassion they proceeded to show me. But from an obnoxiously close angle, it is kind of beautiful, to have someone you care so much about that you can feud and make up with very little harm done. To have someone inspire the passion it takes to stand up for yourself.

I have an appointment coming up on Monday. Every time I think about it, my stomach does an awkward two-step inside me. From a close angle, I still do not find it beautiful. I am grateful about it. But even more respectful. Not everything should be viewed at from obnoxiously close angles. Venomous snakes and spiders for example. Fire is another good one. Or contagious diseases and really bad ideas. These things require respect for their existence, and respectable distances to be kept.

Still, it is good to view your life and the objects in it from a closer angle, to swallow that bigger picture we sometimes get wrapped up in.

Nine times out of ten, you will find it beautiful. Okay, make that six times out of ten. As long as those remaining four aren't deadly encounters of the aforementioned kind, I'd say your odds are pretty good. Just beware the signs, from this angle.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Signs to learn from Mayzie, part 1

This is my dog, Mayzie. And I am always learning new things from her.
Today's lesson:

It's okay to be odd. Embrace it!

Be comfortable with your inner upside-down dog!
So you put on your hat, and then pull on your shirt over top- so what?!
So you like to talk to your fish, or your plant, or your microwave- so what?!
Maybe you decorate your breakfast plate,
or only wear purple slippers,
or only wear one color of toenail polish.
So what?!
If there is one thing I can take from my dog today, it is to embrace your inner weirdness. I
t's how you get comfortable in your own skin.
Oh, and Mayzie wants to add,
It's not necessarily what you do,
as long as you do it with style!