Saturday, November 19, 2011

Signs to learn from Mo, part II

I just wanted to get a picture of my fish all flared up, the way betta fish do when they are defensive of their territory. (And yes, it makes me giggle to think of a tiny fish being territorial. What's the worst he's going to do-blow bubbles?)

Mid-snapshot, a message flowed through the water to my mind. And Mo looked at me knowingly.

Get out of your own way, the message said. Here was my fish, flaring to defend his home from some terrible unknown enemy, when really it was only himself. He had archers ready, sharks on-call, and a willingness to fight to the last breath-if need be- all against himself.

And it would be so easy to just laugh lightly at him, and say silly fish. He is just a silly red fish. I am a smart human. I see what you are doing and laugh because I would never do such a thing. I am human. I have thumbs. Plus I feed you.

And yet, how often have we over thought something, second guessed an answer, or logically skewed a point of view to better fit ourselves? All the time. He's not calling me not because he is busy, but because you are loud and odd and ought to tone it down. I'm pretty sure it's A, but then again I have been facing some rotten luck -entirely my fault I'm sure- so I'm going to guess B. I need this job because it is critical to my formation of character, despite the fact that the travel expense for this job almost costs me the entirety of my paycheck, and compromises my health.

All these words, everything, all for the sake of fighting myself to death, because either way I am right, right?

When really either way, I am exhausting myself and my resources. Either way, I lose. Anyway, I think it is time to get out of my own way. And time to feed my fish.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Here is a sign - You are a very good writer!

Cranky Old Man