Friday, October 28, 2011

Buttoned Up

My button says "I'm a wreck." It's totally true. And today, it is what I love about me. I love the mess I will have to clean when I get home. I love the fact that I'll probably groom my dog instead of cleaning. Or that I should be researching, but I'm writing instead. I'm a wreck about everything! I am in between now and forever, consistently on the precipice of disaster and enlightenment.  And it feels absolutely wonderful. Like the wind that whips ahead of the storm, cooling off the hottest of days, bringing with it the power of an unseen force and an unknown storm. Since I do not know what is heading my way, hurricane, tornado, northeastern, there is no way I can effectively prepare. It is entirely out of my hands. (This is a BIG deal. I am a very planned and efficient person.) But it feels great! I have come to understand that I do not need to white-knuckle my control onto every situation. Some things are entirely out my hands. I am not at the wheel. But I can feel the wheel.  Just like I can feel the wind. And that is control enough. And I am a wreck. And I have never felt more attractive in my life.

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