Friday, October 21, 2011

When You're On Top Everest

There are days worth screaming over.  In pain. Anguish. Grief. Frustration. It's like you are from a whole different planet, and no one seems to notice why you are screaming. They are merely annoyed at the disturbance you are causing them.

In many ways that is the relationship I have with my health. An infuriating balance game that I thought I was momentarily winning.  Enter the screams. And being a boisterously busy and outgoing person, I don't want to have to deal with any setbacks. Any symptoms, any pain, anything. I'm tough, I handle it. But I'm overcritical with my body and the expectations it has recently failed to exceed.

In a fit of internal screaming, I exploded to one of my mentors and healers, "I have exams, homework, classes, two jobs, friends, laundry, a brother, a dog, a fish, and a whole household's sanity to worry about. And I can't handle it on top of my health!"

She paused thoughtfully, and replied, "Well, you know there is really nothing you can do about it."  It sounded like a smart aleck response, even though she didn't mean it that way. I stiffened, hurt even more by her lack of compassion.

Smiling at me knowingly, she said, "What I mean is, well think about it this. Say you are climbing Mount Everest. You reach the very top of the world, the very top. What's the first thing you think about?" 

She smiled at me, making sure I was listening. "I'll let you in on a little secret. It's not anything you listed before. Nobody gets to the top of Mount Everest and starts worrying about their laundry at home. No one."

If you can't do anything about it right that second, right that day, why are you using your precious heart and energy worrying about?

My health is just like any journey. And some times, it will feel like I am forced to the depths of this earth to find relief.  But it is a journey none-the-less. And no one gets to the top of Mount Everest and worries about laundry.

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